My partner, Kelly Willis, wrote a poignant post last week about the loss of her husband and the estate challenges she found in her path, all during a time she struggled with her bereavement. As a private client lawyer with many years of estate planning under my belt, I wanted to share some of the more frequent issues and misconceptions I have witnessed in dealing with families who were unprepared or had inadequate estate plans.
I recently had the experience of counselling a long-time client who, despite a very secure financial position, was overcome with anxiety about money. What became clear to both of us after a lengthy and at times emotional discussion was that her anxiety was not about money at all. Rather it was about her obligations to her children, as the sole beneficiary of her late husband’s estate.
It’s a scenario we see frequently: a surviving spouse, usually the wife (life expectancies between men and women being what they are) of a sole or principal income provider, with more than sufficient capital to sustain her lifestyle is anxious and unsettled. Through discussion, we come to understand that the uneasiness is related to guilt over spending money that is perceived to be earmarked for heirs.
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